I Farted On Santas Lap

C
Mom made beans for dinner
    F
You know I ate 'em all
    C                                G
She said come get your coat on, we're goin' to the mall
C                     F
Gonna visit Santa and sit upon his knee
C                                        G
But all that I could think about was how not to cut the cheese
        C                       F
While waiting there for Santa, I thought that I'd explode
    C                            G
The gas bubble grew bigger with every "Ho, Ho, Ho"
C                                 F
Tried my best to hide it, thought I was doing swell
C                                      G          N/C
But when I sat down on Santa's lap, he hollered "What's that smell!"

C           F               G                          C
I farted on Santa's lap and Christmas didn't stink for me
C           F                         G             C
I farted on Santa's lap now I'll get (pff) under my Christmas tree

C
I asked him for a baseball
F
I asked him for a bat
C                                   G
I asked him for some ice skates but I'll get none of that
C                                    F
I asked him for a lot of things I'll have to do without
       C                          G
'Cause when I sat on Santa's lap, I let one slip out

C           F               G                          C
I farted on Santa's lap and Christmas didn't stink for me
C           F                         G             C
I farted on Santa's lap now I'll get (pff) under my Christmas tree

Am                                  G
On Christmas Eve I snuck out of my bed without a sound
Am                                   F          G
Went down to the living room just to take a look around
       Am                         G
It was then that I saw Santa next to the Christmas tree
Am                                 G6
His arms were full of presents and they were all for me
C                             F
He put them on a pile and got up to turn around
    C                                     G
And blew a fart with such great force our tree almost came down
    C                            F
And so I'll always cherish that special moment when
  C                             G
I realized even old Saint Nick rips one now and then

C           F               G                          C
I farted on Santa's lap and Christmas didn't stink for me
C           F                      G                       C
I farted on Santa's lap and Santa left one on my Christmas tree

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