Its Not Cricket

(início)

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She used to a topless down at the Surrey docks,
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With tassles on her wotsits, she did a t'riffic job,
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Of raising all the eyebrows, of every lunchtime mob.
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She went with all the tossers, who kick about a ball,
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They say their club's the greatest and she has kissed them all,
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At the Arndale Centre, she's up against the wall.
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I can't name names cos that's not cricket,
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I can't name names that would put me in it,
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But that's another story in the finish.
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I saw them at the pictures, a tangled heap of love,
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He had so many women, but only classy stuff.
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I saw him at the clinic, a pink card up his cuff
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One holiday in Bognor, a stag night hit the town,
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The groom was in the car park, with his trousers down,
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But that's another story that won't be going round.
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I can't name names cos that's not cricket,
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I can't name names that would put me in it.
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But that's another story in the finish.
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D
The Deptford had a beano, to Southend for the night,
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With forty crates of lager, to see the Southend lights,
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They got home for their breakfast, pissed out of their minds.
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This girl gave me the minces, so I asked her for a dance,
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And in the death I kissed, and so I took a chance,
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And when I went to touch her, she tried to break my arm.
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I can't name names cos that's not cricket,
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I can't name names that would put me in it.
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But that's another story in the finish.
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'Know what I mean, eh? Bob?'