Those Jeans

            G                             A
Well, I was out at the Long Branch, and I was talkin’ to this girl.
                C                            D
And every hound dog in the joint was sniffing around her.
                 G                                 A
I was playing it slow and cool, being the gentleman that I am.
                 C                               D
Well, then this grease ball with long black slick back hair
                  G                          A
Struts right up to her like I wasn’t even standing there.
                   C                                  D
He looks her up and down and cocks his eyebrow and he says, "Baby, damn."

       G
How do you get in those jeans?
          A
Mercy you looking fine.
                        C                      D
How do you get in those jeans baby, and tell me how do I?

                            G                     A
She looked at him and smiled and said I thought you’d never ask.
                       C                           D
He looked at me and said that’s how that’s done son, just like that.
                 G                             A
I wanted to be mad at him, but to tell you the truth I was really kinda impressed.
            C                        D
He said you might get slapped 9 times out of 10,
            G                       A
but there’s always one that wants a no B.S. kinda man.
                      C                                    D
So I walked up to the next girl I saw who wasn’t wearing a dress, and I leaned in and said.

       G
How do you get in those jeans?
          A
Mercy you looking fine.
                        C                      D
How do you get in those jeans baby, and tell me how do I? (I sure did)

                                    G
   A
Well, I woke up later in a hospital bed, with a half-pound of gauze wrapped around my
sore head.
                       C                                     D
Some of my teeth were gone, and I was drinking mashed taters through a straw.
                                       G
              A
You see, uh, turns out the girl that I propositioned had man, with a chip on his
shoulder and blunt object in his hand,
                            C                         A
who proceeded to express his disapproval of the lines that I crossed.
                     G                       A
Well, they told me I could leave, so I put my clothes back on.
                C                     D
I stumbled past the waiting room just minding my own.
        G                    A                         C
               D
And then this over nourished night nurse, from out of nowhere comes up to me and she
says, "Excuse me sir, but um…"

       G
How do you get in those jeans?
          A
Mercy you looking fine.
                        C                      D
How do you get in those jeans baby, and tell me how do I?

        G                   A
Uh, well um I guess I did need a ride home.
        C                      D
I gotta tell myself it was the right thing to do.

Don’t judge me.

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