Red Eye Flashes Twice

for every person in the world.

Everybody’s tryin’ to get their picture lookin nice,

but they act like a camera is some foreign device.

I’ve got something to ask you, and I’ll keep it concise:

What are you, stupid? Red eye flashes

Twice!

I was trying to snap a picture of my buddies Bill and Bryce,

Bill takes lots of pictures, so he gave me some advice.

He moved before the 2nd flash, photographer, yeah right…

twice!

All your friend will hate your guts, if you don’t stand still

Your family will disown your butt, and prob’ly have you killed

If you have a girlfriend, which we all know you don’t,

but if you do she’ll leave you, and then you definitely

won’t! Have a girlfriend!

The famous person in this picture wasn’t very nice

All I wanted was his picture (and his pizza slice)

With just one flash he walked away, as if I had head lice

What are you, stupid?      Heh…I’ve seen all your movies twice

All your friend will hate your guts, if you don’t stand still

Your family will disown your butt, and prob’ly have you killed

If you have a girlfriend, which we all know you don’t,

but if you do she’ll leave you, and then you definitely

won’t!

See it's much easier to just assume that the flash is gonna go two times and to just
wait there for a second, rather than move and risk all these people in your life hating you
forever and wanting you dead, because every time they look at their picture, they don't
see the picture, they see, "Oh, there's 'So-and-So'. He ruined my picture IN FRONT OF THE
WASHINGTON MONUMENT. I FDA KIN' HATE THAT GUY!"

(repeat until done with talking segment)
All your friend will hate your guts, if you don’t stand still

Your family will disown your butt, and prob’ly have you killed

If you have a girlfriend, which we all know you don’t,

but if you do she’ll leave you, and then you

for the rest of your life!