The Very Unfortunate Man

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There once was a lawyer they called Mr Clay
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He had but two clients and they wouldn't pay
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At last, of starvation, he grew so afraid
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That he courted and married a wealthy old maid

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At the wedding the lawyer made one big mistake
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'Twas not in omitting the wine or the cake
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The ring was well chosen, they had a big feed
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But the lawyer did not get a warranty deed

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He's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate, very unfortunate man
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He's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate, very unfortunate man

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At night in their chamber the lady arose
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And began to prepare to retire and repose
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Her husband sat near her admiring her charms
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That gave him such pleasure to hold in his arms

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She went to the washstand to bathe her fair face
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And thus she destroyed all her beauty and grace
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The rose on her cheek quickly grew very faint
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And he saw on the towel, 'twas nothing but paint

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He's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate, very unfortunate man
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He's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate, very unfortunate man

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She went to the mirror to take down her hair
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And when she had done so, her scalp was all bare
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Said she, don't be frightened to see my bald head
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I'll put on my cap when I get into bed

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She hung her false hair on the wall on a peg
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Then she proceeded to take off her leg
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Her trembling husband got quite a surprise
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When she asked him to come and take out her glass eye

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Now all you young men who would marry for life
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Be sure to examine your intended wife
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Remember the lawyer who trusted his eyes
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And a little bit later got quite a surprise

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He's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate, very unfortunate man
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He's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate, very unfortunate man

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